Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
i still
remember you.

this might appall you
or agonize you but i do.

i remember still evenings
with little to exchange besides
heartbeats and breathing patterns.

i remember soft afternoons
with my back raking against the carpet
leaving sporadic scars and stitches of memory.

i remember dark roads, and darker rains.
i remember a longer faith and a shorter pain.
the wounds are not as fresh, they do not sting,
but they ache and the few times i hear your voice
wedges your fingers in my brain and i can feel the cake
of neglected cum stains and i can hear the desperation in
the small whimper of my name and the way it was hard for your
breath to escape and my mind is running on thin rails, paper train,
and all i ever wanted from you was a home, not a place.

-

you would finger fuck me in the movie theater
and i would squirm and you would laugh because
i am not so good at keeping quiet. and all it would take
was a look from me or my hand up your knee or my lip under my
teeth and your eyes would get that fog that delivers a hard-on and
you have to remember how hard you tried to get hard so you could fuck her
and what does that mean.

mostly i remember passion. voices weak with exhaustion.
you understood that i did not want to be taken care of.
i did not want to be anybody's princess. i did not want
to be a special protected delicacy. i did not want chivalry.

and yes, i have had
better sex with better men
since then, and i do not think of
you when i fuck myself, and i do not
think of you when i'm being fucked by someone else,
and i do not think of you in my sleep, and i do not
dream of you in sorrow or in peace, i just remember you
is all.
ok
my writing is slowly slipping from me
it will probably be completely gone by the spring
we will see.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconawasteof-paint:
Awasteof-paint Featured By Owner May 22, 2013
ah, those poems about past lovers. sometimes i feel more alive in my memories than i do in the present tense. i guess that probably isn't too uncommon but it definitely can't be a healthy thing to feel. anyway you are strong and alive and beautiful. this roars a triumph of some sort.
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh gosh me too. i think sometimes we have a way of over-romanticizing our memories
Reply
:iconshouldertothewheel:
ShoulderToTheWheel Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012
so passionate. wow.
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012   General Artist
You write so earnestly, its real. Thank you for this piece, wonderful person:heart:
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
no thank you!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012   General Artist
That was supposed to say "You write so earnestly, my heart is flabbergasted. Your poetry is a reminder of how poets should always keep their words real." I think I accidentally erased it, my bad! :dummy:
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
awwwww well thanks again haha.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2012   General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconjdam:
jdam Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012
Just excellent.
Reply
:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012
"and i can feel the cake
of neglected cum stains and i can hear the desperation in
the small whimper of my name and the way it was hard for your
breath to escape and my mind is running on thin rails, paper train,
and all i ever wanted from you was a home, not a place."

my heart threw up from how perfect this was
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yummy heart barf
Reply
:iconangelalala923:
Angelalala923 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Student Interface Designer
So rhythmic. Seems like lyrics and could easily be a song (:
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
rhythm is very important to me so i'm glad you picked up on that!
Reply
:iconvsconcepts:
VSConcepts Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
I dig the style. Art, like ourselves - is in a constant state of evolution. And what you display, keeps on blowing our minds. You have the passion, and the inspiration. The rest is perspiration. Keep it up!
Reply
:iconxxbrokenmemories:
xxbrokenmemories Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012   Writer
and all i ever wanted from you was a home, not a place.
nailed it.
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i try
Reply
:iconfervvent:
fervvent Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i don't think it's slipping at all. i actually really like this. :heart:

especially
and your eyes would get that fog that delivers a hard-on and
you have to remember how hard you tried to get hard so you could fuck her
and what does that mean.
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
well, i'm glad you think so haha. :heart:
Reply
:iconsilklilies:
silklilies Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
it isn't slipping, it's just in a passive sort of place. i hope it never goes away.
it will always be special even if it changes, but don't let it fade completely
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
me too. i don't know what i would do
Reply
:iconsilklilies:
silklilies Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i would try and find what makes you feel,
what makes you write in the first place,
and see what you can do to keep that alive

or you could get really stoned and keep a notebook nearby
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah but the thing is lately when i'm stoned i can't write either. and that really scares me because i can always write when i'm stoned i don't knoowww hannnahhh
Reply
:iconsilklilies:
silklilies Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh shit. i've had one or two times where i couldn't write when stoned
and sometimes i just wasn't in a place where writing was a great idea
but i would be a bit worried. i've gone long periods of time without writing
it always comes back. it's one of those things where
if you really want it, love it, need it, it comes as you will it to
it is a part of you and can't ever really go away
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you, hannah. that's very reassuring.
Reply
:iconsilklilies:
silklilies Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome hannah, i wish you and your writing the best
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:icondiddlyhohum: More from diddlyhohum


Featured in Collections

Literature by ravenwritingclaw

Devious Collection by ssleep

Words that Inspire by toxic--sunrise


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
August 11, 2012
File Size
1.9 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,147
Favourites
47 (who?)
Comments
26
×