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About Literature / Hobbyist HannahFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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last night mike & i were sitting in the jungle
half past two, still coked up, woke up
he said, "the other night when i was
falling asleep i started thinking of
life ten years from now. i saw myself in
new york city, paul in san francisco, and you,
god knows where, but the point is, we
were all separated, and i hated it.
i was dating someone
and he was trying to get my attention
but all i could say was, 'sorry, i have
to Skype
hannah & paul.' nothing
scares me more,
and it's inevitable,
we will all
scatter."
and i felt my heart clench, like,
this is really it, these are the people
that i love, these are the people
i want to spend my life with.
fuck marriage, fuck everlasting
commitment that sours in an instant.
we jokingly made plans to create a
domestic partnership where we
raise children together-
and paul's the sperm donor,
one big happy
fucking strange ass family.
i want to be thirty
in new york city with you
terrorizing tourists and making
friends with local florists and laughing
when everyone asks if we're a couple.
and i realized
right then
that i had never pictured my life ten years from now- at any point-
and it sobered the moment-
recognizing the fact
that i never expected or
intended
to live past 25-

but if i do,
what will it mean
without my best friends
at my side
on real, true, never ending love
in your early twenties you fall in love with your friends
Loading...

your love was subtle

unprovoked

I fed it nothing, it did not

stomp down the halls, it did not

blare from the windows, its voice

did not linger in the hallways.

 

did it have a voice at all?

 

it felt the way

a shadow feels when it passes

too quickly.

for a second I am cold, the next I don’t know it.

 

we sat

on my porch in the dark

I had just ended it

and you said it was the end of summer

too.

 

I sipped from my glass

and smoked a cigarette

sparing no breath,

you smoked a blunt

slowly

and said, “do you know what this reminds me of?”

 

I was already thinking

of you holding my hand in the airport.

Trujillo to Lima, Lima to Dallas, Dallas to…

home?

 

I missed the dust

without you.

Last night I had a dream that 
We talked in person
It was all just a big misunderstanding,
You didn't want to admit how you really felt.  
I took you back home and introduced you to my father
You followed me up the stairs and couldn't keep your hands off me
You laid me down against the wall in the hallway
You were kissing me all over and I couldn't stop staring at your shoulders
I love your fucking shoulders
God bless swimmers
Then I woke up
And remembered the shit that went down last night
I think I really lost you this time,
If I can say I ever really had you to begin with. 
I guess. I'm going to put some of my old stuff back up, but mostly just add new stuff.

Life is good, I'm myself again, hope to hear the same from you all.

<3
  • Mood: Content
You unchurch me
When you spit sermons
In my mouth

-

This is torture.
This is drowning the slow way.
Bit by bit every press of your kiss
drags me a little further down-
This is drowning with my legs around your hips
and your feet on the ground.
This is gasping for air between your lips,
trapping your eyes in
Mary j’s mist, this is hoping
For a drop of sun and getting
A blister. This is sleeping with a friend,
This is a fucking disaster.
This is saying your name this is saying,
Faster.
This is not speaking all day
And not speaking all night.
This is three full days with your
need at my side.
This is
We’re perfect together-
But the timing’s not right.

-

"What’s this about,
What’s this all about?"

one day I'll tell you that
ever since you crawled into my mouth,
i have tried and i've tried and i can't get you out.
Last night I had a dream that 
We talked in person
It was all just a big misunderstanding,
You didn't want to admit how you really felt.  
I took you back home and introduced you to my father
You followed me up the stairs and couldn't keep your hands off me
You laid me down against the wall in the hallway
You were kissing me all over and I couldn't stop staring at your shoulders
I love your fucking shoulders
God bless swimmers
Then I woke up
And remembered the shit that went down last night
I think I really lost you this time,
If I can say I ever really had you to begin with. 

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Comments


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:iconef-barber:
ef-barber Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Really moved by your writing <3
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:iconherbodyismycoffin:
herbodyismycoffin Featured By Owner May 25, 2015   Writer
thank you for the favorite, it's such an honor coming from you
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:iconathlios:
Athlios Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Happy birthday Hannah :)
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:iconsabeks:
SABeks Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014
Happy Birthday!!! Hannah! :party::cake::airborne::wave:
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:icongioarturi:
GioArturi Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014
Happy Birthday!!! :rose: :cake: :party: :sun: :heart: :love:
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:iconvanessaahh:
vanessAAHH Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
UnspecifiedUnknown sent me a link to your profile and I have been favoriting your poetry ever since.
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
ah yes, she's mentioned you quite a few times, saying how i would love your work. embarrassed to say i have yet to look, but then again i rarely use this site anymore. checking you out soon, i promise :heart:
and thanks so much for stopping by to read!
Reply
:iconvanessaahh:
vanessAAHH Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh wow, did she? I am surprised, I don't think my work is really something to be spread around haha and don't feel embarrassed about not having read any, I won't take it personally or judge your character for it ha, (:
Good to see that even though you might not use this site much anymore that you at least still take the time to post new word art!
Reply
:iconmatieucanadawilliams:
MatieuCanadaWilliams Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your pieces are always so beautiful, I admire your writing talent and am always blown away by your words.

I hope you're having a nice day/night!
Reply
:icondiddlyhohum:
diddlyhohum Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
oh wow thank you. I'm having a great evening, hope you are/will too :)
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